Safety Tips

I have no topic of relative importance today, so here's some random thoughts that are keepin' me up:

• Hockey's back. Yawn. Although they did change the rules to make it more exciting. They may have made the worst decision ever by closing down last season, but at least they got something right by opening up the game. By the way, the Blue Jackets are 0-1. Yes, the Blue Jackets. You get a cookie if you know what city they're from. How can you have a team called the Blue Jackets?!?!? That's why nobody except Nort follows that stuff.
• Tom Cruise got Katie (or Kate, or Kady, or Katy or whatEVER the hell it is) Holmes pregnant. If anyone actually cares about that, please step forward so that I might poke you between the eyes with a rusty screwdriver.
• On another related note of celebrities - It's rumored that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are calling it quits. Upon seeing this news on the magazine stand, the two 15 yr old boys in line behind me at the store proclaimed, "Sweet, now that she's single, I'd bang her!!" - Yeah, cuz I'm sure she has a thing for boys that can't grow facial hair yet. Plus, you're 15, you'd prolly bang Mimi from the Drew Carey show if you didn't have to tell your friends about it.
• Speaking of 15 yr olds, Michelle Wie turned pro today. She reportedly signed endorsement deals with Nike and Sony that will pay her about 10 million dollars a year. She's 15!! I don't care if she can drive the ball twice as far as Will can ( or twice as straight for that matter ) - she's 15!! Makes me wonder for every Michelle Wie, LeBron James, and the Williams sisters, how many kids wake up every day and want to beat the hell out of their parents for pushing them into a sport?
• Milwaukee might have to shut out new cases from the Small Claims court. This means that if your neighbor cuts down a tree and wrecks part of your garage, there's hardly any legal recourse you have to make him pay the damages. Nah, I don't see any problems with this idea the County has to try to save some money. Now, where's my baseball bat? I've got my eye on some mailboxes....
• A train clipped a pickup truck blocks away from where I grew up. Scary to think about, but WTF was the guy thinking? If you know the area, you'll wonder how the guy could not have maneuvered his truck out of the way. Yowza.
• The Blue Jackets are from Columbus, Ohio. Cuz when I think of Columbus, I think of the color blue. Prolly pissing off a lot of Buckeye fans.

That's all for now, my loyal minions. I'll have some good stuff for Thursday (pictures?).