Friday, October 12, 2007

Billlllions and Billlllions

There's not much in this world I hate. A LOT of stuff I dislike, but hate is a bit of a strong word.

It's a word reserved for the Chicago Bears. And the New York Yankees. I also hate water chestnuts.

And then there's one thing that rises up and beyond those things. Road construction. I used to just dislike it, but now after dealing with it as part of my job, I hate it.... more than that. I loathe it.

And the object of my disdain has become those goddamn-mothafarkin-piecesofshait orange barrels.

Oh, how I hate these things. But here's what I can't get over. Just how many of these goddamn-mothafarkin-piecesofshiat are there in this world? I mean, seriously?? Where ever on this green earf you live, think about how much construction is going on in your area. If it's anything like Milwaukee... it's a lot. Even if it's just half of what's going on here, you've got enough construction to choke a city. Not only are we reconstructing half of our city streets here, but we're totally rebuilding our main freeway interchange system. Which is only going to take another four years or so... after having been going on for the last six, but I digress. Now, imagine how much construction is going on EVERYWHERE.

The world is a big place, and yet, where ever I turn, there's another fucking barrel. And that's just my little corner of the world. This past weekend when I went Up North with Nort, we actually discussed this. There was a good 10 mile stretch of highway they were working on Hwy 41. Well, working was a generous term, as there was NO ONE working. But the orange barrels were there, standing at attention, stopping traffic from using one lane.

Ten miles of barrels, spaced out at what? Every 75-100 feet? And that might be too far to say is between the barrels, but at 100 feet, that's 528 barrels.... JUST on one side of the highway. You need another 528 for the other side.

And those are some large barrels. So how do they all get there? How do they get spaced out so evenly? How many freakin trips does it take to move all those goddamn-mothafarkin-piecesofshiat? Just for that one stretch on 41, it had to take a whole day just to set them up. And that was just a ten mile stretch! Think of what this adds to the construction budget! I had to go to Portage for work a few weeks back. Portage is northwest of Madison, which is due west of Milwaukee. It's an hour drive to Madison... and the WHOLE drive to Madison had barrels along the side. I was on the phone with Will for a large portion of the drive, and I felt bad, because I had to interrupt him with my disbelief of the sheer number of barrels.

And where do they go when the construction is over? I'm talking in the wintertime here in Wisconsin, when there's no other construction sites for them to go to. How big is this warehouse? You can only stack 'em up so high... and they're pretty wide.... so really, where do they go? Do the construction companies own them? Do the wrecked ones get repaired, or just replaced? Why aren't the landscapes dotted with giant orange barrel housing facilities? Who makes these bastions evilness? With that many out there, shouldn't some of the richest tycoons be barrel makers? How much competition is in the industry? Can you buy stock in a company that makes them?

So many questions.... even more goddamn-mothafarking-piecesofshait orange barrels out there.


At 3:24 PM, Anonymous chris said...

So what you're saying is that upon closer inspection, this pale blue dot is really made up of billions of pale orange dots?

At 2:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


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