Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Humidity Is Not High Enough

After the game on Sunday, me and Nort drove up to the Dells to hang out for a couple of day's for Colin's bachelor party.

We stayed at the Kalahari resort, and I really recommend that place to anyone going up there. We stayed in a condo, which was really 3 hotel rooms connected to each other, but the middle room had a kitchen and living room in it. Very nice.

I'm getting to be an old man, but I had never been to the Dells area before. Had never been to Noah's Ark, or anything like that. Nort almost got into an accident when I mentioned that one on the way up.

Speaking of being on the way up there.... We hit the road just after 6:30 I think, and about 10 min to the trip, Jon calls and asks us if we'll stop for cigars. Nort not knowing where there's a cigar shop out in Waukesha, stops at a Pick 'N Save. So you can guess the quality of the cigars we brought up with us. ( on a side note, about 5 guys out of eleven had a cigar on the first night, and then NO ONE else touched them, so I'm glad we stopped and got them. Sheesh ).

So after that stop, we tool our way up there, and make a stop north of Madison for some food, since neither one of us had eaten that day. As we head back on the freeway, Jon calls AGAIN, and asks us if we can pick up some Captian Morgan and coke for Matt Brooks. It's like 8:15 at this point, so we drive through back-woods USA looking for a liquor store. We finally find one, and some 14 year-old ( I'm not kidding about that one ), rings us up. We scored a $25 bottle of Captian for only $15 dollars, cuz the kid didn't know any better. I was unaware of this until we got back in the car. Good times.

So we pull up to the Kalahari resort..... AND THERE'S A FREAKIN LIQUOR STORE A BLOCK AWAY FROM THE RESORT!!!!! It was a 30 second drive to the store from the room, and maybe a 5-10 min walk. Jon never saw it.

So after finally checking in ( we couldn't check in with out Jon standing next to me ), we got everybody together, and hung out, and a bunch of us played poker for a while, then moved on to a couple of drinking games. Nothing too wild happened, you know, we're all getting old. We can't play drinking games like we used to.

Overheard while playing poker:

There was some noise coming from a nearby building, and there was discussion as to whether it was from a parked car with a bumpin' stereo, or if there was a nightclub nearby. When someone speculated that it was a nightclub, and that the nightclub would be in the building across the street, Jon stated:
"No way. If it was across the street, we wouldn't be able to hear it. The humidity is not high enough to carry the sound."

That was 2 days ago, and it's just as funny now when I write it, as when he said it.

So the next day, we went mini-golfing and go-karting. Good times on the go-kart track. We did 3 tracks, and each one got better as we went along. We did wait for the second one for like an hour cuz of a busted plank on the track, but it was worth it.

On the second track, I took off out of the gates and Nort was right behind me. We went down this hill, and he had this look on his face like he was determined to pass me. Right after we went up the next hill, I looked back, and he was NO where to be found. A few turns later, Colin and Joe appear 50 yds behind me, and they're laughing hysterically. Turns out, Nort's car refused to go up the hill any faster than 2MPH. I thought he wrecked, which is a funny thought in itself, but what really happened is even funnier.

The third track, Nort, Evan and myself got cut off from the main group, and had to wait for the next go-round. When the other 8 guys came back in the gates, no-one was smiling or laughing, so we figured the track was gonna suck. Boy were we wrong. Nort passed me right out of the gate, but then my car kicked in, and I tailed him for most of the first lap. There were these really tight circles that you would take progressively down in a spiral, and it seemed like the cars were going 80MPH instead of the 17 you really were. I was able to pass Nort, and early in the second lap, there was a car with a driver who thought he was driving Miss Daisy around the track. He was just kinda weaving back and forth, and he didn't even realize it. Everytime I'd try to pass right, he'd swerve over, and then look startled when he almost plowed me into the wall. So finally I saw an opening, and went for a quick pass on the left, and Nort was right behind me. I just barely made it through before the turn, and this guy was so scared of me getting around him, he never bothered to start the turn, and took himself and Nort right into the wall. Nort wasn't too happy about that. HA!

Despite most of the guys going to bed early on Monday night, I still had a really good time. Plus, I got to do my first water slide ever. Even if I am almost 30, better late than never I guess!


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