Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Balls In Hand

Sometimes you just feel like you have the world by the balls. You know the feeling. Like you've become more acutely aware of your surroundings. You're ready for anything. You can almost sense what's going to happen next, and you know your next move... and that it's going to be successful. You're almost invincible. Your mind is sharp, and almost anxious waiting for the next moment.

It can happen anywhere, and at anytime. You can kick ass at work, and impress the suits that get paid to judge your performance. You can be "in the zone" in sports. It feels like everyone else is playing at three-quarters speed, and you're moving faster than you ever have before in your life.

I think to some extent, it's a conscious decision to grab the world by the balls. Corny as it sounds, I think there's something to be said for the positive affirmations you can give yourself. If you tell yourself you're going to knock that project out of the park at work, you can. Especially if you say it enough. It's a little like 'fake it till you make it' dogma...

But as much as it is a conscious thought to grab the world by the balls, it's funny how sometimes the planets align and show you that no matter how much positive reinforcements you go to battle with....... the universe is a much more powerful force than you EVER imagined. The "God has a sense of humor" initiative takes over, and the fates conspire to throw every freakin possible roadblock in front of you. And it can turn on a dime... and with no logical explanation.

To a point, that's what makes life fun. Like the salmon swimming upstream, we have no control over if the river turns right or left... we just keep spending energy swimming in the water. Today, I had one of those days where it just seemed like no matter how hard I swam, I didn't move upstream any. The day started with me thinking I had the world by the proverbial balls, but the universe did JUST enough to remind me that I wasn't totally in control.

So we battled back and forth all day. And in the end, I think I won. ( Did I really win against the universe? Most would say probably not - but I'm going to tell myself I did ). Why do I think I won? Because I have to get up tomorrow and do it all over again. And for the first time in a long time in my life, I'm looking forward to trying to defeat the universe. I like the feeling of thinking I can take on the world and win. ( Am I really gonna win tomorrow? Again, most would say probably not. ). But you know, if I say it enough... it might just come true.


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