Had to Happen Sometime I Guess

Like an episode of Seinfeld, sometimes life comes full circle in the course of a day.

Some Mondays are really long days. In addition to my office job, for the month, I'm being passed around to some of the clubs like a cheerleader on prom night. This is especially fun this month on Mondays when we do our server maintenance at night - after 8pm.

Knowing I was heading into a full day, when I got to Club #1 at 9am, I grabbed a cup of coffee and started on the projects for Club #1. First project in the que was replacing a keyboard that had soda spilled on it, and seeing if the printer that had the same soda spilled on it was salvageable. Not too bad you say? Well, this is the third time since this new hire has been here that he has done this. I say new hire, cuz he's only been here three months.

( say it with me - "once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, three times is a problem..... and a punch in the testicles".... ) .... ANYWAY....

Someone commented that I looked 'frustrated' (**you think???**), and I lamented that drinking alcohol should be allowed on the job.

Except for the numbnut that SPILLS ALL THE TIME.

Little did I know, that twelve hours later, we would be throwing a guy out of the club for drinking at a club. Sadly, it was not an employee - but a guest of a member.

Club #2 that I'm currently whoring myself out to, does have a bar on the premises. But this guest wasn't drinking at the bar. He either snuck in an IV, or is a damn good actor early on in his drunken stage.

I was getting ready to leave Club #2, when there was a complaint that someone had passed out in the whirlpool. Well, actually the complaint was that he was yelling, but when Paul got there, he was passed out. We were about to call the paramedics when he came to, and insisted he was fine. At least that's what I gathered from his incoherent blabber. He was quite ornery about it too - refusing to let us call an ambulance, even when he tripped on the flat carpet in the locker room. We weren't really sure what to do with him, as this had never happened before with any of us there - until he started calling other members in the locker room "mutha-f*ckers" - then it was pretty easy to figure out what to do.

We found the member that he came with, and asked him to escort his drunk friend out of the club. The member had NO idea how he got like that. That kinda freaked us out a little bit, but they left, almost peacefully. Not only were the other members "mutha-f*ckers" at that point, but the staff was a bunch of "assholes" for throwing him out.

After that was all over, I still wished I could drink on the job. I had just learned that night, that when drunk, don't sit in the hot tub for an hour. Or at least don't call Paul a mutha-f*cker.