Dear Kids...

To those of you that thought it would be fun to knock my snowman over last night...

FU.

I realize I wasn't a saint of an adolescent, but c'mon. Knocking a snowman over? Really? You have nothing better to do? With a world full of PS3s, the Internet, WoW, porn, sports, sledding, and skirt chasing... you chose to beat up a man made of snow.

I'm glad you felt all mighty after you kicked his ass. You know, cuz you're badass enough to take on something that doesn't have a heartbeat. Enjoy your time doing gateway crimes. We'll see how much of man you are when you're in PMITA prison in five years.

I must be getting old, because today, I feel like pummeling you little bastards just like you abused my snowman. What if I had made that with my son? He'd be devastated today. I wouldn't be able to explain to a child that the world has little gutless pricks like you. I wouldn't be able to explain that the same person that thinks he's badass for knocking over a snowman, would run like hell if I would have stepped outside during the act.

For you guys, my door is always open. Come back to the offices of Know What I Mean, and introduce yourselves. Let's see how badass you are then. If you can kick my ass, I'll make a snowman for you everyday so you can keep your street cred by sodomizing it in front of your friends.

Jackasses.