Sunday, October 23, 2005

The Dogs of War

So yeah, I apologize for mailing it in last week. I enjoy writing this here blog ( and I have to try to stop using the word 'blog' in my blog, as for some unknown reason that I've mentioned in this blog, the spell checker inside of Blogger does not recognize the word 'blog'. Okay now that's out of my system.... ) - and will make an effort to make sure there's more crap for you to peruse more often.

*the side note to this post, is that is was written on Wednesday, and is being posted tonight. Any changes are noted with italics.*

I have to wonder if bookies sweat out weeks like this in the NFL as much as the bettors do. Only three games with a spread of 3.5 or higher?? Are you kidding me? My confidence pool picks are prolly going to SUCK this week, but as long as I stay ahead of Nort, then all is well with the world.

But I've been holding my own in the pick-em league with the boys. You pick the games based on the spread. I'm just barely keeping my head above water for the season so far. So in a poor attempt at humor, and with all due respects to Bill Simmons ( who's column I am blatantly stealing this idea to do this from ) - here's the picks for the week.

For the uninformed, home team in caps, first team listed is who I've picked, and the number is the spread. A negative number means my team has to WIN by at least that amount, a positive number indicates that my team can still lose the game, but by less points than that number, and I still get the pick correct.

Kansas city (+1.5) over MIAMI
I'm just not sold on Miami yet. I was going to make a case for teams that try to split carries with the runningbacks, as Miami is going to try with Brown and Williams, but they're playing KC, and then well, you see the problem. As for Brown, they made him into a STUD in Madden 05, and I think he's going to be the real deal down the road. You see him take that SHOT and then scamper another 60yds for a TD? Wow. Update - KC won 30-20. This was also the first time EVER in the NFL that a team traveled and played on the same day. Interesting fact. Who the f*ck looked that one up?

st. louis (-3.0) over NEW ORLEANS
Update- I fell on my head when I made that pick. I erased what I had wrote, because it made no sense after reading it again. No Bulger scares me now. I don't know why it didn't on Wednesday. The good news is that I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. That, and everyone else in the pick-em league took St. Louis.

green bay (-2) over MINNESOTA
As much as the Green Bay defense scares the hell out of me as a fan, I just couldn't come up with one good reason to take Minnesota. I have an image of Mike Tice in his office at midnight watching film all alone stuttering like Milton from Office Space. The only thing that would make the Love Boat/Whizzinator/Tice/Owner named Ziggy/Culpepper meltdown/broken stadium deal/ any better would be if this happened to the Bears, or if Sky Dork was a Vikings fan.

san diego (+4) over PHILY
Tough one. Best player in the game with Tomlinson, but I still can't get a good read on the Chargers. They dismantled the Champs, but we're finding out the Pats aren't as good as advertised perhaps. But the Eagles were supposed to be the toast of the NFC, and they got waxed by a Bledsoe led Cowboys team. I think the points look pretty nice here.

WASHINGTON (-12.5) over SF
I asked coach at practice if I could get some more time in at QB during our Hitmen games so that I could get some game film of me playing to send to the Niners. They just traded the ONLY experienced QB on their roster. From a time when they had BOTH Montana and Young on the roster, to this. I'm glad I'm not a Niners fan right now.

CINCY (-1) over Pittsburgh
Ugh. You could make prolly 35 solid arguments to go either way with this one. Big Ben is back, but I'm on the Carson Palmer bandwagon right now. He's played well, and this is THE test of the season as far as defenses he'll face. A coin flip says he passes the test.

Indy (-16) over HOUSTON
Not that I always adhere to it in this here space where I write things down, but they say, 'if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all'. Well, I like the Texans uniforms and logo. With that being said, why do I have the feeling that even if the line was 29 points, it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine all of us taking the Colts? Update - We all took the Colts.

CLEVELAND (-3) over Detroit
Mooch is high on car fumes in Detroit if he doesn't turn the keys over to Garcia the INSTANT Garcia shows he's field ready. Here's what I don't get - how long of a leash do QBs in the NFL get? Ask Nort how short my leash was as a QB of the Milwaukee Traveling Circus..... it was about 4 plays. Harrington is still being touted as the possible future. At what point do you just rip the band-aid off?

Dallas (+3) over SEATTLE
Seattle ends up screwing me in one way or another each week, so this week prolly won't be any different. Dallas is getting the points, but most likely won't have Jones running the ball. But it's a Parcells offense, and he's shown before that he can plug guys in RB for the short term and be okay. The playoff hopes of the Cowboys rest on Julius ( a ND grad btw ) Jones' shoulders. But the Seahawks are just too much of a question mark for me to not take the points this week. Update - everyone else took Seattle, and since they'll screw me again this week, you boys have to thank me for my pick, and assuring that you get at least one point on me.

Bufflao (+3) over OAKLAND
Holcomb is an upgrade over JP, and McGahee is a damn good back. Buffalo has been up and down this year, but I'll think they'll take the points against a Randy-less Raider team. I don't have much to say about Oakland, except my fav quote from Will about Kerry Collins.... "He's about one Seven and Seven away from being out of the league!!" Update - Speaking of Kerrys.... I flip-flopped on this one for a while. In the straight up pick-em pool ( no spreads ), I took Oakland just to annoy myself. So we need to hope that Oakland wins the game, but by no more than 2 points. Everyone together now......."Good luck with that one Flax."

NY GIANTS (-2) over Denver
And on the topic of short leashes.... Plummer is a classic example of this. He's an average QB. In Arizona, he was surrounded by NO talent, and he didn't play well. In Denver, he's got talent around him, and people consider him the answer. No.... he just plays well within the system, and won't lose the game for you. So people will always keep expecting that he'll turn it on, and that expectation will never die. If he got traded to SF tomorrow, the pundits would be bashing him for poor play. I don't understand that. Anyway, Giants at home, Denver is due for a slide right about now.

ARIZONA (-3.5) over Tennessee
McNown or Warner? Who cares. In the pillow fight of the week, I've taken Arizona to cover.

CHICAGO (-1) over Baltimore
I'm not sure why they didn't make the spread three points for this game. The final score is going to be 2-0, so a three point spread would cover the books hind ends. I make fun of the anemic offenses in the game to tempt the gods. I need Jamal Lewis to have his "he's back" week, but yet I've picked the Bears to cover. If the Cards/Titans game is the pillow fight of the week, then this is the "Cripple Fight!" from South Park.

ATLANTA (-7) over NY Jets
At least Brooks Bollinger had his 15 min, and people outside of Wisconsin heard his name. Vinny is back in town, so the only time Brooks gets from here on out is mop-up time, which he won't get here. Atlanta will win easily, but not by enough to get Vinny out of the game.

We don't bet any money on the picks, just for bragging rights to see who gets more right at years end. Again, I apologize to Bill Simmons for the blatant rip-off. I'm sure I'll hear about how crazy the picks are, but that's half the fun. Let the games begin!


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