Sunday, November 20, 2005

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Wow. I am going to take it in the shorts this week in the Spread Pick-em league. Five spreads at 9.5 or higher, and only two at 3 or less.

I got 10 of 14 right last week, bringing my total for the year to 79 out of 144 games played, or about 55%. Good thing we don't lay any real wood on this, cuz I'd barely have my head above water. But I've got a comfortable lead in the pool, and I'm going to need it this week.

Again, for Mom, first team listed is who I've picked, negative number means they have to win by that much, positive number means win outright or lose by less than that. Home team in caps.

WASHINGTON (-6) vs Oakland
Right off the bat we start with the headaches. Two teams that aren't consistent. Washington is good, but they've layed an egg or two. Oakland is, well, Oakland. You know its a bad week when the best argument you can come up with is.... "Well, it's Oakland, so give them the points." God this week is gonna suck.

Miami (+2.5) vs CLEVELAND
An argument was made that first year head coaches get their teams to play better as the year goes on. Miami has looked better than advertised at times, and Cleveland is, well, Cleveland. Feeling a theme here? They've looked worse as the season goes on. And that's saying alot, because they looked pretty terrible when they almost lost to the Pack early on. So I'm thinking the points look okay here. Have I mentioned how much I think this week is going to suck?

Pittsburgh (pick-em) vs BALTIMORE
I suscribe to the theory that you run for the hills if Tommy Maddux is starting for a team, but they're playing Baltimore. Pittsburgh's defense wins this one 7-0 on an interception return for a TD. Baltimore's offense is THAT bad. Like Traveling Circus bad. I hold the record for pass yards in a game with 187 for the Traveling Circus. Pretty pathetic huh? Well, welcome to the Baltimore offense. So there's the trouble. Always..... ALWAYS pick against Tommy Maddux. But it's Baltimore. And I benched Jamal Lewis in one fantasy football league, so he's going to run wild and screw up this pick. THIS WEEK SUCKS.

DALLAS (-8) vs Detroit
Harrington is the favorite now to get the start for the Lions, and that's encouraging for me and the Boys giving eight points. Harrington played well last week, but as I just mentioned, even I threw for 187 against Racine once, so blind monkeys can find bananas every once and a while. Since this week is going to SUCK, Jeff Garcia will magically be healthy and run around enough to pull out the upset.

Jacksonville (-4) vs TENNESSEE
Alright. Here's one I have scientific proof for. Tennessee will lose this game, and by more than four points, and the whole Volunteer state has me to blame for that. I've just acquired Steve McNair (the Tenn. QB) in a fantasy football league. Yup. You guessed it. That means that he's going to throw 3 INTs this weekend, get sacked about 12 times, and fumble on 3 of those sacks. Oh, and keeping with the trend of my fantasy teams, McNair will not throw a TD this week. So Jacksonville fans, I will accept your thanks in the form of cash, preferably large bills.

ST. LOUIS (-9.5) vs Arizona
Rams at home, and favored by only 9.5 against the Cards? Woo hoo! Should be a no-brainer of a pick, but because this week suc........ well, lets just move on shall we?

New Orleans (+9.5) vs NEW ENGLAND
Patriots have been all over the board. New Orleans has flat out sucked at times. But I don't know that the Pats can hold it together much longer. Plus, Tags has to help out the floundering Saints eventually. Nine and a half is looking like alot of points here, just enough points to sucker me in and take 'em. Did I mention I hate this week?

NY GIANTS (-7) vs Phily
Giants need the game worse than Phily does. Phily wouldn't tell you that, but there's no way that the Eagles can last through the stretch they have. They're out of the NFC East race, but they just don't know it yet. Plus, the Eagles are passing on having Koy Detmer start this week. Koy is famous for going in and playing well for ONE quarter, then getting hurt, and convulsing on the field like he landed on an electric cattle prod. Man that was funny. Almost took my mind off how bad this week is going to be.

ATLANTA (-6) vs Tampa Bay
See what I mean about the spreads? A few weeks ago, they were all 3 pointers. Now, they've got the spreads just high enough to mess with your mind. Atlanta just lost to the Pack in the "Gado" game. Chris Simms drank from the same fountain that Warner drank from a few years ago. But it's still Chris Simms. And these are two teams that always end up fighting it out, that no matter what the spread was, I'd have trouble with it. So why do they have to play this week then? Ugh.

Carolina (-3) vs CHICAGO
Good offense vs good defense. Usually the defense wins out, but just to annoy Sky Dork ( who got a new job (again), and is back in the ranks of the commercial pilots. So congrats to him for that. He lives in FL, and will "commute" to work because he will be based out of Newark. That's a helluva commute. ) I'm picking the Panthers. I think they'll win outright, so this is prolly the best I feel about any pick this week. Scary, ain't it?

Seattle (-12.5) vs SAN FRANCISCO
12.5 is alot of points, but it's San Francisco. And it took me awhile to admit that the Hawks are one of the better teams in the NFC. Still, almost 13 points is alot, so lets move on before I change my mind, shall we?

DENVER (-13) vs New York Jets
Thirteen points is alot, but as much as I like Brooks Bollinger, there's no way he gets it done against the Broncos. This is prolly the second best I feel about a pick this week, and it involves a THIRTEEN point spread!! Normally this is fun for me (even if it's not so much fun for you to read), but when I see the picks written out like this, I don't feel so good about them.

Buffalo (+11) vs SAN DIEGO
A really good running team is getting eleven points. Sounds tempting right? Well, not as tempting as you'd think, since it's this week, and it's Buffalo against SD. Plus, I couldn't justify taking the favorite in all three games in double digits.

Indy (-6) vs CINCY
Again with the teases. My mind is so drained at this point, all I gots is that Indy is the better team. More balanced, and they're going to win the game. Since they're going to win, they should win by at least a touchdown and cover. Can you tell I'm really reaching at this point with the picks?

Kansas City (-7) vs HOUSTON
Woo hoo! An easy one! KC only giving up a TD to Houston? What don't I know about this game that I need to know????? Why do I have the feeling that the spread should be higher?? Cuz it's THIS week. That's why. It sucks.

GREEN BAY (-4.5) vs Minnesota
I picked 'em to win straight up in the confidence pool. Granted, I only put one point on the game, but hey, I can dream can't I? I'm really hoping that Gado has a rockstar day, and becomes a mini-legend in the annuls of GB history. Plus, he had the quote this week, that his pops was coming from overseas to see him play in the last game of the season, "If I'm still on the team at that point."
Can you say humble? That should be karma enough to win. But it's me and the Packers, and karma doesn't quite cut it. So as long as I'm in the tank for this week, I might as well pick the Packers. God help us both this football weekend.


At 8:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still don't understand the details...but keep trying! Love, Mom. PS I hope you don't get beat up because I said Love, Mom.


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