Like Hart's... But BETTER

Nort found this article.

If you don't want to RTFA, all you really need to know is that a bar in the Green Bay area was busted for having 96 underage patrons.

96.

The city of DePere levied almost $17,500 in fines that night. Not a bad pull.

There's a quote in the article by Dennis Gladwell, the DePere Police Crime Prevention Coordinator (what kind of title is that???) that says the following:

"If you have one or two (underage drinkers), it means you made a mistake. If you have 96, it means you don't care."

And he's half right. I used to bounce at a bar on Water St. (one of four major 'destinations' in Milwaukee to get your drink on). We were pretty diligent about checking IDs. While it's not a stretch to guess that a few people did get in under my watch with a fake ID, I can also tell you that several people were allowed in with fake IDs. If the ID was really, really good, you'd get in. If it was terrible, you didn't. I wouldn't take IDs from anyone, just not let in people with bad IDs.

Unless you were hot.... and it helped if you were wearing a skirt. Yes, I know that's piggish of me, but hey, it was kinda my job. We knew that the cops would come around everyonce and a while, and they abided by the same philosophy as Mr. Gladwell - they'd look past a few underagers, especially if the ID was pretty good. But I can't imagine they actually thought it was a mistake. Don't you think they'd notice after a few years that the only underagers they bust in a bar are hot, sexy, girls that flirt really, really well?

My favorite ID story happened after about a year of me working there. It was FREEZING that night, and due to the nature of the area, you never could park within 2 blocks, so you'd have to walk to one of your favorite watering holes. I worked only on Wed. and Friday nights, and both nights wouldn't start to get busy until after 10 or 10:30. We'd usually have one person on staff at the door until 9, because there wasn't much to do. On this freezing night, around 8:30, this young hot girl came to the door with NO jacket, a top that showed half her stomach, and had on a very short skirt and some awesome heels. Quite the normal attire for the summertime at this bar, but not this night.

She pulled out a terrible ID. Height was off by almost six inches, eye color was wrong, you name it. I musta looked at it for almost three whole minutes, and she didn't say a peep. She even made a point to not make eye contact. I even turned on the bright spot light over my seat to get a better look at the ID. You could see every little squirm of her body language, and I loved every minute of it.

And if you haven't guessed by now, I let her in. She went to the bar, and I could overhear the bartender making conversation, as she was one of three people in the bar at that point. Her friends were coming later... yadda yadda yadda. After about 20 min, I couldn't take it any longer and went up to her and asked to see the ID again. She got all nervous, but reluctantly gave it to me. I explained that I had already let her in, and she had a beer in hand, so if we were gonna get busted, throwing her out now wouldn't do any good. She smiled, and I asked how old she really was. She tried to insist on the age on the license (24), so I think in all, I asked her three or four more times. Finally she relented, and admitted what I had thought, that she was only 18. I reminded her that I said she could stay, but warned her that the other bouncers might not take such a crappy ID in the future.

Was it cuz she was hot? Sure. But I also felt sorry for her in the cold with that outfit, and at the same time, impressed. She really did meet friends out that night, and she had the guts to try to get in, especially the way she did.

I wasn't the only bouncer like that at my bar, and I'm damn sure there's bouncers like that ALL over the country. Bar owners like hot young women in the bar, so if everyonce and while I let in one that happens to be underage, so be it. Now if you're a guy on the otherhand, and you have a bad fake - FORGET about it. So here's what I want to know.... what was it like at the bar in DePere? Were they letting everyone in, or just the hot chicks with fake IDs? Maybe I don't want to know the answer, because in my head, they just let in the hot chicks with bad fakes, and told all the dudes to go stick it. How nice would it be to walk in that bar as an of-ager? One can dream....

It would be like the Anti-Hart's. seventh bullet point down