Monday, February 06, 2006

SuperBowl With A Cripple

Friends and bean dip - what more do you need for the SuperBowl? Nothing, especially when one friend is limping around, and set himself up as an easy target for the night.

3:30 - I've IM'ed Will about Michael Irvin's tie. The tie itself is a nice compliment to the suit, but the knot that Irvin has tied is the same size as his head. Will hasn't seen it yet. Other than that, I'm unimpressed with pre-game coverage.

4:15 - I've found the Terry Tate commercials on the internet. "You can't bring that weak ass sh*t up in this humpity-bumpity!!! Woooo!! When you kill the joe, you make some mo'!!!!!! It's Triple T in this beyotch!!!" "You need a cover on your TPS reports Richard!!! That ain't new baby."

4:50 - Nort shows up with a ready to make pizza that cooks on a paper plate. I'm skeptical of the science on this one.

5:12 - Who is this singing the start of the National Anthem, and what has he done with the real Aaron Neville?? Thankfully, Arethea comes in halfway through the song to bring it home.

5:17 - Will arrives with the ingredients for his bean dip. We have our first utterance of the word "turd". There were sound effects to go along with it as Will gleefully made the dip in the kitchen.

5:24 - Brady doing the coin toss??? WTF??? Seahawks won the toss. Ut-oh. I'm pulling for the Steelers ( get 'Rome a ring, and I like Rothlesburger ). Coin toss winners have won 7 of the last nine SBs.

5:31 - Lidwin walks through the door. He actually arrived like a half hour ago, but it took him a while to hobble up the stairs.

5:38 - Finally a good commercial. Bud's "Magic Fridge". Clever, but I'm waiting for better.

5:41 - I could watch a WHOLE game from that SkyCam view. Wayyyy under utilized by each network.

5:47 - FedEx caveman commercial. Now we're talking.

5:59 - FINALLY, the first score of the game. Anyone with the under on the game should be feeling pretty good about themselves right about now.

6:09 - A Hasslebeck lookalike in the stands. Thankfully, we've been spared the 'cameo' shots of famous people in attendance so far in the broadcast. This guy however, was a good catch by ABC - he looks JUST like Hasslebeck.

6:13 - I've been kinda disappointed by the commercials so far..... and then the "Streaker" shows up. The horses playing football has almost been overdone, but a good save by Bud in this franchise of commercials.

6:16 - Is ABC paying attention to the game????? They just put up a graphic that this is only the third SB to not have a first down recorded in the first quarter...... Ummmmmmm - Seattle had like 2 or 3 of them on the OPENING drive. The Seahawks ran the same play like four times in a row, and moved the chains AT least a couple of times. How does this happen? How do Michaels and Madden not catch that?

6:18 - Is there anything that you can't make funny by using simian humor? I love it.

6:19 - We've been picking on Lidwin just a little bit, and the best comeback he's had so far is, "Yeah? Well, that's what YOU'RE smokin!!" This is gonna get fun.

6:20 - Rothlesburger just threw a pick. Ut-oh. "Nice draft pick Cow-ah".

6:29 - Lidwin: "You know who I'm talking about. He looks like that one black guy."
Will: "Gee, thanks. THAT narrows it down."

6:40 - TD Pittsburgh!! A sloppy game, but it's gonna come down to the last couple of possessions.

6:45 - "Lord love mercy!' - Lidwin's reaction to seeing Cowher's chin on TV. Ummmm... hello? Cowher's chin has been a running joke in the NFL for 14 years now. Glad to see Lidwin's paying attention all this time.

6:47 - Why, oh why do they squib kick with two minutes on the clock in the NFL? Will someone please explain this to me? You're giving Seattle GREAT field position as a result of the squib kick when time is an issue. KICK IT DEEP. I don't get it.

6:50 - As a result of the good field position, Seattle is now in a position to score - but we have a pylon incident!! The drama! Did he get in around the pylon?? He didn't get both feet in, so it's a moot point.

6:56 - "Crime deterrent cell phone" - excellent! That guy took the cell phone RIGHT between the eyes. After re-visiting the Terry Tate commercials earlier today, it's good to see more violence on the commercials.

7:08 - Ugh. The Rolling Stones. This is where we have a discussion that there should be a "Family Guy" halftime episode on another channel to keep us occupied during halftime.
Peter: "Don't worry Chris, sometimes it's good not to fit in." (flashback to Vietnam)
Peter (dressed in a clown suit) : "Ha, you guys are stupid. The enemy is going to be looking for army people."

7:14 - Will almost threw up in his mouth after the camera panned over to show the flab under Mick Jagger's arms.

7:19 - Uh-oh. We've upset Chris.

7:32 - 22 seconds into the second half.... BU-BYE!!! Willie Parker TD!!

7:40 - Jeremy Stevens... YOU SUCK. Why don't you drop ANOTHER ball??

7:41 - Oops. Another missed FG. Seattle is just dying over there.

7:47 - Well, it took 2/3 of the game, but Bettis just ran for more than 3 yards on a carry.

7:52 - D'OH!!! Rothlesburger just tossed a terrible pass that got picked off. One split second just put Seattle back in this game. That's a stomach punch of a play for a young QB.... this could spell disaster for Pittsburgh.

7:54 - We have a game! And guess who??? Jeremy Stevens thought it might be a good idea to ACTUALLY catch a ball. Kinda handy that this one was for a TD.

7:55 - Just when you think the glut of good commercials is over... more simian humor!!! And this time, they add jackasses.... dressed in khakis and button up shirts! Excellent job on that one.

8:04 - Stevens drops ANOTHER ball. God, why did this man open his mouth before the SB? What a tard.

8:22 - Poor Matt Hasslebeck. He just threw a ball equally as bad as Ben's errant pass earlier, TOTALLY wiping out any momentum that Seattle had. This puts Pittsburgh BACK in the drivers seat.

8:24 - Will would like Emerald Nuts to refund him for the 30 seconds he's never going to have back after their commercial.

8:32 - Gadget play!! It took the Steelers a while to run one, but they picked their spot perfectly. How do you not stay back as a safety when Randal-El has the ball???? Seattle is in some serious trouble now. Unless they pull a firecracker out of their ass, this could be it.

8:57 - Stevens drops his 427th pass of the night. Get ready to say goodnight, Gracie.

9:02 - Goodnight, Gracie.

10:30 - Saw on SportsCenter that Hines Ward got the MVP. He had 125 yds in receptions. That was the most quiet 125 yards I've ever seen in a game!

Not the most exciting game, but a good one none the less. Commercials disappointed, but atleast we had Will to pick on Chris most of the night. Chris is going in for repair today, so Know What I Mean wishes him a speedy recovery. It wouldn't look so good having a D-Coordinator hobbling all over the sidelines with crutches. Don't forget to share the vicodin with us!

2 Comments:

At 10:22 PM, Blogger ptg said...

And again, I dare ask, WHO is doing the repair!? And if his PT doesn't kick his ass enough, I know someone who will.

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger clids32 said...

4:00- Kuflax and the gang are officially a bunch of asses.

4:14- Will becomes major ass

4:49- Nort sits on the couch and says... ummm... actually, he really didn't say a whole lot.

4:51- Nort chuckles at a commercial

5:16- Will chows on more bean dip (which was fantastic)

6:07- The Robin jokes begin to fly, Matt looks like he could get mad.

6:32- Matt and Will continue to hurt my feelings (Nort just sits and laughs, which isn't very nice either)

7:45- Seahawks officially choke and I still don't like the boys. I mean, I know I had a few jokes that were funny. Nort laughed! I had an excuse- I wasn't drunk and I was on pain killers (a day early).

9:30- Arrive back home to find my girlfr... I mean, my fiance', lying there in bed asking me if I wanted to score a touchdown.

9:31- Fall asleep

 

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