My Dogs Are Killin' Me

Well, not so much this week. I've only got a couple of dogs, and I'm feelin' pretty good about 'em. I'm back with my silly football prognostication. I can only imagine 2-4 people enjoy an entry like this, so for the rest of you I apologize. We'll be back to talking about hummers real soon, I promise.

And for someone like my mom, who will read this, the first team listed is who I picked, a negative number means they have to win by at least that many. A positive number means they have to win outright, or lose by less than that many. Home team in caps.

Cincy (-3) vs BALTIMORE
Jamal Lewis is committing another crime by the way he's playing. Now that Daunte Culpepper is out, Jamal and T.O. are having a special runoff election for biggest fantasy killer. There's no way he turns it around against the Cincy defense. I will then be seen wearing a F*CK JAMAL t-shirt when he gets benched in favor of Chester Taylor. How dare you kill two of my fantasy teams.

Atlanta (-2.5) vs MIAMI
I love one of Willy's big football thoughts in regards to the QB position, and I fully agree with him. He biatches about how Vick was supposed to revolutionize the position, and be the next big thing. All QBs coming out of college would be mobile, defense killing machines. QBs would be a threat to run AND pass, and that's how you would win games. So here's a list of QBs that have PLAYED in a Superbowl since Vick came in the league - Tom Brady(3), Kurt Warner, Brad Johnson, Rich Gannon, Jake Delhomme, Donovan McNabb. All pocket passers. McNabb has some quick feet, and I could prolly beat all the others in a footrace. Some revolution huh?
So with all that said, Miami is still a big question mark, and while Vick won't win any championships anytime soon, I just can't justify taking Gus Ferrotte.

MINNESOTA (pick-em) vs Detroit
Yeah, yeah. The love boat. Culpepper blew out a knee, and is out for like three and a half years. But what a week to get Detroit on the schedule. And not just Detroit, but no Garcia means Harrington is coming to town. Plus, Minny's backup QB is the aforementioned Brad Johnson. Given the way Daunte stunk up the joint in the first half of the season, this is actually an upgrade.

San Diego (-6.5) vs NY JETS
Last time I said that Brooks Bollinger got his 15 min of fame with his start, and now that Vinny was back in town, he'd be too busy pickin' splinters out of his butt again. Then Vinny goes down, and Brooks leads them on a TD drive. So here's hoping that Brooks doesn't play again (tempting the football gods), cuz this pick is one of those that if you think about it too much, you can almost talk yourself into changing it.

Carolina (-1.5) vs TAMPA BAY
Chris Simms. Behold the power of a name. This kid went something like 1-10 against top 15 teams in his college career. He played at freakin' Texas! I could QB at Texas, and win more than one game against top 15 teams, just based on the talent I'd be surrounded with. Now I know TB has been playing well, but the Panthers defense should be enough to confuse Simms. On an unrelated note, while doing my 'research' on the teams for the picks, I came across the Cheerleader section for the Bucs, and was pretty impressed. The Eagle cheerleaders had always set the standard in years past, but other squads are catching up. Very well done ladies, but not enough to convince me to take the Bucs.

Tennessee (+3) vs CLEVELAND
One of the dogs. I think Cleveland is bad enough to screw this one up. Plus, I might be getting Steve McNair next week in one of my leagues, so he'll just blow up this week with 5 TD passes, then suck it up once he's on my roster.

Jacksonville (-13.5) vs HOUSTON
Ugh. 13.5 is a lot of points to get, but it is Houston. Jax's defense is pretty good, and Houston's offense actually has negative yards for the season. Okay, maybe not negative, but they're pretty terrible. Funniest rumor I heard today about T.O. - that he'll end up in Houston. I hope he does. That could be high comedy.

Chicago (-3) vs NEW ORLEANS
Well, not really AT New Orleans. Baton Rouge I think. The Saint's REALLY need a win here, but everytime I pick them ( except week one ) they screw me. So while I think the Bears will win, I'm secretly hoping because I didn't pick the Saints, they'll win, and then I can laugh at Sky Dork.

Seattle (-4) vs ARIZONA
Only 4 points? Sign me up. These are two teams that in the grand scheme of things, I could really care less about, so lets just move on.

NY Giants (-11) vs SAN FRANSISCO
Eli, Tiki, Shockey, and Burress going against a terrible defense. Could be fun. Plax has been the only bright spot on either of my fantasy teams. And while I think the Giants will cover, I'm not totally sold on Eli yet. Sure, he's played very well in the last 3 weeks, but 3 weeks a QB does not make. Tommy Maddux played great for a stretch of 10 games a couple of years ago. So lets not put Eli on par with his brother just yet.

GREEN BAY (+3.5) vs Pittsburgh
No Big Ben, so they're going with the question mark of Charlie Batch. I'd feel alot better with my pick if the Steelers were starting Maddox. While I did say a few weeks back that the Pack would go 1-10, I'm thinking if there's a game in this tough stretch they can win, it's this one. If Ben was playing, I'd say not, but who knows? They held Cincy's offense to 21 points, even though they turned the ball over 5 times. Then again, this could just be a pick of numbers. Eventually the Pack has to win again.... right? At some point? It has to be possible... right?

WASHINGTON (-3) vs Philadelphia
They sent T.O. home. McNabb is still playing very hurt. They can't run the ball. Easy pick right? Well, Washington just got out from behind the woodshed that the Giants took 'em behind, so I'm not feeling very confident in this pick either way. But this could be a defining game for the 'Skins. Can they bounce back? They need to, so I'm hoping they do, or at least enough to cover.

Indy (-3) vs NEW ENGLAND
If the Patriots this week were called the "Clam Chowders", and they wore different colored jerseys, and they played their games in Vermont, this spread would be ALOT higher. On paper, the Colts should dominate. But you know all the sidelines, and because it is Patriot week, and it's in Gillette Stadium, the spread is where it is. But heck, even the Packers were able to vault over the hurdle that was the Cowboys in the mid '90s, and the Colts are primed to make that same move.

I may have set the record for taking the visiting team this week. I've only picked 3 home teams to cover. Yikes.

In other football news, this Saturday was sure "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" for college football.

The Good: Notre Dame vs Tennessee. ND goes up 21-3, looks like a rout, Tenn comes back to tie it up, then ND takes over again. Go Irish!

The Bad: Wisconsin. Need I say more? Not for Wisconsin, but there's a small part of me that's happy that if they were gonna lose the Big Ten, that they did so against Joe Pa, and in Happy Valley. I've told you my Golden Dome trip, so sometime I'll have to tell you the Happy Valley trip that me and Willy took. Good times. Will:"Dude, I almost hit a dog." Me: "We're in the middle of NOWHERE!" Will:"Yup. And hey, next time, warn a brother."

The Ugly: Miami and Virgina Tech. I don't really like either of these teams, but I HATE Miami. And the whupped up on VT. And of course, it was on Primetime on ESPN. They've done more games at VT than anywhere else since I've been following college football. What is it about that place? Makes me not like them.

Last week, 7-7
Overall, 61-55