What Did You Do Today?

So far today I've:

• Interviewed for a promotion.
• Picked up little man from his grandparents.
• Picked up chinese food.
• Drove through a police roadblock on a bridge.
• Began to get shot at by at least 25 officers with poor aim.
• Did get shot by, and sent to the hospital by an officer with superb aim from a helicopter gunship.
• Found out that lappers cost $50.
• Also found out that if you get seven of them, and don't have enough money, the bouncers will try to kick your ass.
• Beyond that, found out that after you kill the bouncers with a knife, the police will have surrounded the titty-bar.
• Stole a cop car, which was promptly shot at, and blown up by the f*cker in the helicopter.
• Drove a car into a river.
• Proceeded to swim ashore, ending up at the airport.
• Snuck past security (which wasn't really that hard), and wandered onto the tarmac.
• Stole a large vehicle used for towing the really really big planes.
• Laughed as the prick in the helicopter couldn't do shiat, cuz the vehicle must have been made of solid steel.
• Caused a general ruckus on the tarmac, running over cop cars, officers, and general airport employees.
• Stopped laughing when the vehicle tipped over, I was thrown from the vehicle, and was run over by a 747 (which was how I tipped, cuz I tried to destroy the plane, with no luck)
• Stunned to learn I survived getting run over by the plane.
• Not surprised when the bastard in the helicopter took the opportunity to send me back to the hospital.

All that stuff really happened.

The first three items happened in real life.

The rest happened in my first half hour of playing Grand Theft Auto IV.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to see what awaits my next hour.

*Yawn*

Wednesdays teh suck.

Me and My Buddy

Forcast calls for hot.

This morning a jacket I took.

Cold it was,

But now it's not.

 

Lions, and Tigers and Bears,

Oh my!

A trip to the zoo awaits?

Sitting at work, the time does not fly.

 

The weather is turning nice,

New things to do,

That couldn't be done before.

(It's hard to push a stroller on ice!)

 

So much of the world to see,

There's no time to delay.

And while I might not always be free,

Rest assured that I wish I could always play.

Visual Safety Tips

We've gone a long time without some Safety Tips, so here's a few, sprinkled with some random pictures from the last few weeks.

• Went to the Brewer game on Tuesday night. Brewers won in extra innings, despite Gagne blowing yet another save. That's $10 million well spent this year. I got all excited, because I almost got to post my Hindenburg photoshop again after that game. Now they've lost the next two games to the Reds, so I might get to post it in April just yet.
• I still haven't caught a damn foul ball yet in my life. But I got a major leaguer to blow me a kiss after heckling him. At least that's the story I'm sticking with. I was yelling at Ken Griffey Jr., and after a single in the 8th, he jogged into foul territory after reaching first base, looked at our section, and in what I swear was pointed right at me, blew a kiss. No one else in my section was as vocal to him, so that's why I'm sticking with my story. "Hey Griffey!!! You made it from the dugout to homeplate WITHOUT your walker!!! Good job! Way to go!!!" "Griffey!!! You know, 30 years ago, you coulda stretched that into a double!!!" (after the single in the 8th ). Good times. Nort went to the game too, and he even got into the heckling... but his was directed at me ( what's new? ). I don't even remember what we were talking about, but I mentioned that often, I enjoy acting rather juvenile, and that I was really like an 8 year old on the inside. To which Nort said, "Aren't you being a little generous?" He's just lucky it was raining and we couldn't get another picture of him on the dinosaur/horse/camel thingy outside the stadium again.
• Here's a pic from the game though. That's me and my cousin Jeremy, he's the one that got the tickets for the game.
  
• A segue into sports. Watched a fair amount of the NCAA tourney this month. Tried to teach the little one the finer points of college sports, but mostly he just bobbled his head around, and spit up alot during the games. But there were a few good moments, like this one, while watching the Badgers fail against Davidson. This was during a non-call of a foul. If only his movement was on purpose.
  
• In the interest of 'equal time', we will now post this pic of him supporting the 'other' team. The VP/President of Operations is an alum, so there's not much I can do about it though. Makes for some priceless pics though!
  
• And then there's the priceless moments. We took the new employee to his first Easter service... where he promptly fell asleep within the first 20 min of the service. I told the father that he was just getting a head start on his life as a Catholic. Sorry God.
  
• With Easter comes spring. With spring comes rain... but I didn't think THIS much rain.
  
• But the warm weather is coming, maybe not soon enough though. As we try to expose the little guy to as much of the world as we can, it would be easier if it were warmer. Even he wasn't impressed with the 51 degree day we had a few days ago.
  
• Soon, buddy. We'll be playing ball soon enough.

Did I Miss Something?

More ESPN asshattery.

A few days ago, they were doing NFL Draft coverage on ESPN, like they do everyday. The point-man for the draft on ESPN is a guy named Mel Kiper Jr. He's been doing this since they started covering the draft.

Kiper ( who's basically just a weatherman - he's wrong most of the time, but gets to be on TV, and makes alot of money for guessing for a living ) - was talking about a CB from Penn State, named Scott. Kiper said,

"He has really stepped up his play in the last few weeks."

Now if you don't follow college football, that quote prolly doesn't sound all that remarkable. But I'll let you in on a little secret.

THERE'S BEEN NO COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAMES IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS. In fact, there hasn't been any games since the first week of January.

So how the hell can someone 'up his play' in the last few weeks??? In March, when there isn't any games? How do these talking heads on TV get to keep their jobs?

Missed It By An Inch

ESPN, which never fails to disappoint me, posted a list of the 11 greatest football movie scenes.

They left off the pregame pep talk from Pacino in "Any Given Sunday", that took place right before the playoff game. Sure the movie was a bit over the top, but if you ever played football, and don't get chills watching that speech, then get your head checked.

Ready For Spring

No No No No No No No No.

From JSOnline...

Federal and state transportation authorities endorsed plans to expand I-94 to eight lanes in the 35-mile stretch from the Mitchell Interchange to the state line, in a revised environmental impact statement issued today.

The report was prepared as part of the approval process for the freeway reconstruction and expansion, which would represent the largest highway project in state history at a cost of $1.9 billion.

Assessing the need for the project and the potential environmental impact, the state Department of Transportation and the Federal Highway Administration determined that an additional lane in each direction is necessary to handle projected traffic on the important corridor.

Additional lanes are expected to reduce projected drive times in various parts of the corridor by 10 minutes in 2035, the final year covered in the study period, according to the report.

The transportation officials also wrote that the project would not violate federal clean air laws. They project that emissions in the area would decrease through 2035, based on expected reductions in traffic congestion and improvements in emission controls on vehicles over the coming decades.

I don't even know where to begin. TWO BILLION DOLLARS??? The entire damn state budget has been around 2 billion dollars the last few years. That stretch of freeway isn't that congested!!! I should know, I spent the better part of last year driving that stretch at various hours of the day. Morning, noon and night, it didn't matter. Once you got south of Ryan Rd, it was smooth sailing all the way to the state line. We can't even fix potholes here in metro Milwaukee, but we're gonna needlessly put more concrete where we DON'T NEED IT. Schools are failing here ( MPS just released graduation figures here in Mke... a whopping 49% graduation rate ), but lets spend the 2 billion on expanding a highway that isn't even congested!!!

And they just repaved 94/894 around town, and that gets congested like a mo-fo. So why didn't they talk about expansion there? Like, where we actually NEED it.

Politics, and government mishandling of money makes me wanna puke. Is the majority of the public that blind to what they're doing with OUR money?

And what's with the bias of the article??? "the important corridor". ALL CORRIDORS are important to somebody. If you build a road, or a freeway, and people use it, they're using it to go somewhere. The road outside my house is important to ME, otherwise, I couldn't get anywhere. To imply this 35 miles of road is more important than other stretches of highway in Wisconsin is wrong.

And again... TWO BILLION DOLLARS!!! I'll personally repave/expand/repaint the stretch for one billion dollars. That's alot of freakin money. Man this stuff really pisses me off.

Fark, YouTube, And Getting Rick Rolled

Best link on fark today...enjoy.

It's That Easy To Vote In Wisconsin

Okay, so he really didn't vote. But not needing an ID, it prolly wouldn't have been that hard for him to vote.