The Nexus of the Universe

I was reminded of the "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry dates his cleaning lady. At some point in the episode, Kramer gets lost in downtown New York. He calls Jerry, crying, and saying he's lost. Jerry asks where he is, and Kramer looks at the street signs. He replies: "I'm on first and first. Wait. How is that possible that a street intersects with itself??? I must be at the nexus of the universe!!!"

Apparently, Donovon McNabb is also the nexus of the universe. Because according to John Madden, he can complete over 100% of his passes.

I flipped on the Sunday Night game tonight, and within two minutes of listening, McNabb rolled out on a pass, and Madden informed the viewers that McNabb "completes over 100% of his passes when he rolls out of the pocket."

I couldn't dial Nort fast enough on the phone. Nort picked up, and upon my inquiry as to if he was watching the game, his immediate response was the Madden quote... and then a few minutes of jokes... "He's 13-of-6 on passes out of the pocket tonight!"

But I don't know what's worse. That Madden is getting so senile that he said it, or that no one at NBC cares enough to correct him. How do the execs at NBC not realize that his shtick had gotten old back in 1996? Is it too much to ask for insightful commentary about the game? Does network management not understand that people will understand and appreciate the game more if you give them indepth analysis of the game? You can talk about pulling guards and rolling coverages without alienating some of your audience.

Why do networks continue to roll out the same old tired announcers? In another lifetime, I think that I would have made a good announcer. I'm sure there's lots of other qualified people out there that could do a good job. So why do they keep recycling the same crap year after year? People watch for the sport, not for the announcers. Announcers can enhance the experience, and they should be given more credit for that.

It's stupid to try to 'create' something with an announcing team. It's chemistry, and it's not hard to find. Adding Dennis Miller to the MNF crew was done for all the wrong reasons, but they still did it. Same with Rush Limbaugh on ESPN. Sure, they might be football fans, but they didn't add to the chemistry, and they reduced the quality of the broadcast ( and the experience ) for the fans.

I can only hope that it's not too much longer that NBC realizes they're spending seven figures on a shell of a former man, and realize the error of their ways. Madden used to be good. Now, he's a cartoon. We're not five-year-olds watching football.

Tis But A Flesh Wound

The knee came around, and I was able to play just a little this year. So little in fact, that they only got about four pictures of me this year. Here's two of em.

"Don't. Stop. Beeeeleeevinnn!"

It sure is catchy.

Damn you, Will.

Bound To Happen

Monday Night... What?

First Monday Night 'game' of the year... I have a big TV with HiDef... and I spent most of the night..........

Outside.

Damn right. It felt good too.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I dvr'd it, incase something interesting happened. I did watch the first quarter live, so it wasn't a total waste of the TV.

But some beer, a new fire kiln, and a see-gar from Bob's stash, combined with beautiful weather beckoned me outside.



It's not really a fire pit, but it holds fire, so it's good enough for me for now. Plus I've got some tiki torches in the backyard, so I just might have to hang out there a little more often. On a rare night I'm not working, come out and join me.

Bombers On the Brain

It may never happen here.... but the San Diego Bombers has a nice ring to it.

I'm just sayin'.

Flax's State of Flux

A couple of housekeeping things.

It's up to two now. Thanks for keeping track Nort. ;)

The "Almost" post was number 400. I ran into someone on Saturday night that commented on how I hadn't posted much lately. I know most of the stuff I put up here is mindless drivel, but it is an outlet for me - and most of the time I forget that there are a few people outside of immediate friends and family that read this. I wish I had more time to post, and I'm going to discuss that in a few moments... but I wanted to thank anyone that does pay attention. Early on in the blog, I would take a few stabs at important subjects, and I would like to try to do more of that. Of course, you'll still get the unimportant crap too, but hopefully more entertaining unimportant crap. Anyway, 400 posts is about 375 more than I would have wagered on at the outset, but again, thanks for paying attention.

On to the serious stuff. I'm finding myself in an unfamiliar place as of late. I have always been one that adapted to change very well. I have a pretty laid back personality, with a great appearance that nothing every really bothered me ( much to the chagrin of my mother ). Things do bother me, but I think that I do a pretty good job of compartmentalizing things... and if something irked me, I'd deal with it in my way, and not let it affect everything around me. Part of how I dealt with things also came from the feeling ( illusion? ) that I had pretty good control of things around me.

I consider myself a pretty smart guy. How I process information allows me to understand things pretty quickly, and helped me feel in control of alot of things in life. But I'm beginning to fear that I have alot less control that I thought I did. I don't mean this to say that I feel my life is out of control... more that I'm feeling as I'm in a great state of flux... and I'm not a big fan of that right now.

All that said, I am a firm believer in that you get out of life what you put into it ( hat tip to Bob on that one, he instilled that one at a young age ). So while I may not like where somethings in my life are right now, I completely understand that it's my own fault. As smart as I am, and as quick of a learner I am, I never finished college. I am a kid at heart, and often chose play time over work time, which has it's consequences even to this day. Along the work vs play lines, given the opportunity, I can be one lazy bastard.

But as life goes on, people change. And I'm trying to change those things, but it's a slow process. I work A LOT. And when I work, I work hard. I'm working more and harder than I ever have in my life. But I'm beginning to wonder at what price. Currently, I'm partnered into a young company. How do you know where the line is that makes it all worth while? Is missing every golf opportunity with friends worth the long term benefits the job MIGHT provide? With the kid on the way, at what point is working ten, eleven, or twelve hour days worth providing a good life for my family, vs spending time with them?

I bring up the golf thing because it provides the best snapshot example. Not that I blame them, but Nort and Will don't even call me for Saturday golf anymore because the assume correctly that I'm most likely working. What kind of friend does that make me? It makes me feel like a shitty one.

There are no guarantees in life. There's no guarantee that my job will pay me six figures in the next few years. Is there a chance? Heck yeah. But I'm starting to worry what that will do to my life to get to that point. I like my life. Sure there's stuff I don't like, but for the most part, I'm okay. When it comes to family and close friends, I hit the life lottery. For as much as I've fucked up in life, I'm still doing pretty good.

But I want my cake, and to eat it too. I want to be successful at what I do, and have fun with the rest of my life. There are a few days, where I wake up, and feel like I've got the world by the balls, and I can do WHATEVER I want. Other days, it feels like the world's got my balls in a vice. If I can just figure out what the difference is that makes one day like the former, and the other like the latter, then I'll have it made.

I wonder though if it's just the job that's wearing me down now though, or if it's the culmination of my past screw ups coming back to bite me in the ass. I've put a few resumes out there, and we'll see what happens. I know it's never too late to do something about your life... but you know, if I had that degree, I wonder if I'd be in this spot right now.

Maybe that's the point of life. You keep waking up, keep working towards...something. What is that something? Different for everyone I guess. I know it's not supposed to be easy, but I wonder if it's really supposed to be this hard? I guess I'll just have to wait to find out.

Almost.....

Didn't quite make it to bed by seven tonight. I'll be going in a few minutes, so I only missed by about five and a half hours.

The second installment of "Almost", goes to my buddy Chris, who was almost famous tonight. The Brewers continued their downward spiral in Colorado, and Chris was there to witness it firsthand. He had great seats, and called to inform me so. He was hoping to be on TV, as his seats were right behind homeplate.

But he didn't quite make it. Almost, but not quite.

There's a guy in the first row, right under the "FSN" graphic, with his arms crossed. This isn't Chris. Behind him, just to the right, is a guy in a blue shirt, right above the "FSN" lettering. This isn't Chris either. Chris is BEHIND that guy.

Excuse the crappy pic, it was from the camera phone, I couldn't find charged batteries for the digital camera, and since he wasn't actually on screen, I wasn't going to put anymore effort into it.

Nighty-night peeps.

Nap Time

On Monday, for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to do a route at night. I got home around seven pm, and shortly there after went to lay down.

Next thing I knew, it was 7:45am. I have no idea why I woke up. The power was out, so had I not woken up at that point, I would have overslept for work.

Funny thing is, I could have prolly slept for alot longer. I'm still tired.

In the event that I don't have to work late tonight, I might go back to bed at seven again tonight. One can hope, I guess.

FORE!!!!!..... Iron

Yeah, so that's what's left of my 4-iron. On a par 3 hole, I teed off with it, and the ball went one way, and the head of the club went the other.

I loved that club.

You may have seen this before, but here's Robin Williams on golf. Pretty NSFW, so watch the volume if you open it at work.

Safety Tips

Dude, I know. It's been a while. A WHILE. Things here at Know What I Mean headquarters have been really busy lately. Sadly, I've been working ALOT ( too much, if you ask me ), and the few hours I get to be home, blogging just isn't at the top of the list for things to do.

I even haven't been playing that much of the PS3. That should tell you something right there.

But the old neurons are still firing, so here's somethings from the past few weeks.

***Before we get to the Safety Tips portion of the segment, Nick was kind enough to tag me with a task, so here goes. I don't usually do these kinds of things when the come in email form, but this is an excuse to add some content to the post tonight ;) I'm supposed to list eight random things about myself.

1- I never get headaches, or have nightmares. Getting clonked on the head doesn't count as a headache. I suppose I should amend the nightmare part to say I've never rememberd having a nightmare. Never have I had a dream where I've been scared in it. Most of my dreams are pretty kick ass, with a few thrown in that are NSFW to describe.

2- I have only thrown one interception in a game since June of 2005. Two people will find that amusing, while the rest of you won't care.

3- Despite playing football for the last eight years, the only concussion I've ever had in my life had nothing to do with the sport. It involved a door frame in high school.

4- The first 'real' time I ever flew in an airplane, wasn't until I was 25 years old. I flew when I was like 2, to Phoenix with the family, but I don't remember that, so it doesn't count.

5- Speaking of being 2, I didn't start speaking till after I was 2 years old. My parents had taken me to speech patholigists, and regluar doctors, but there was nothing wrong with me. I just didn't want to start talking till then.

6- I HATE water chestnuts. Pretty much anything else I can stomach. I might not like some things, but water chestnuts make me cringe.

7- For as athletic as I think I am, I have trouble diving headfirst into water.

8- I had a bad experience once, so now I can't slam a Miller Lite. I can chug a Corona or a Leinie's, but just not Miller Lite.

In the spirit of, well, I don't know what spirit there is in these things - I'm tagging Will and Nort to follow suit. ***

• The knee got well enough to go out golfing a few weekends ago, and I broke my 4-iron. That was my favorite club, and no, I didn't do it in anger. The club head came flying off on the tee shot. That might have been the highlight of the round. I played TERRIBLE.


• I posted before about some in the state of Wisconsin want to double our tax burden. I lied. They want to increase it from 1.9 billion dollars, to 17 billion dollars. 85% of that would be used for universal health care in the state. Anyone under 65 would be eligible, including illegal immigrants. This is why we here at Know What I Mean don't venture too far into the political ring. They can't run the DMV, and now they want to control my health care??? And it's a PAYROLL tax, which means that a company will pay $11,000 a year towards an employee that makes 100Gs, and only $2,750 towards someone making 25Gs a year. The 100G employee will pay $5,000 out of pocket, and the 25G employee will pay $1250. But both employees have the same plan, so how is that fair? I'm done with this for now, before it eats up the whole post. Ugh.


• January 25th, 2008?


• More politics that make me want to barf. Chicago is considering charging a "congestion fee" for anyone that drives in downtown Chicago. WTF???!?!? A congestion fee. I'm speechless. If a politician decides to try to impose a "breathing fee" on me before my time here on earf has passed, end me then. I don't know how much more bullshiat like this I can stomach.


• I may have to wait till January, but my cousin Becky got her bundle of joy on August 1st. We here at Know What I Mean wish her and Joe the best, and we can't wait to see all three of you!


• I know they're all over the internets, but the I can has cheezburger and lolcats crack me up.


• The Brewers are throwing away their season faster than Britney, Lindsay, and Paris are throwing away their careers.

That's all for now. Our game got cancelled tonight, so it's off to the bar with the guys. The Packers scrimmage is on tonight, so call Nort every seven seconds to drive him nuts.