Safety Tips

Alright boys and girls, lets see what's going on in the world today....

• In the clubs is where you would think that it would be real busy this time of year. New Years day is historically the busiest day of a year for a health club (both in usage, and new member signups). I'm finding out the hard way that it applies to my job in the office as well.
• Well, that and the fact that they should have filled the position MONTHS ago. After another fun week, I still don't have my head above water yet. But it's still fun.... for now.
• Which brings me to today. I had five things on my list, and only got to one of them. I spent most of the day dealing with our billing software (which, prior to today, I knew nothing about). More specifically, I spent most of the day with the software's technical support group on the phone. Up until today, I have not ever had a "help desk" nightmare. All of my tech support experiences were very pleasant. All you ever hear is how un-helpful tech support centers can be, the hold times, the snobby attitudes.... well... I never experienced that. UNTIL NOW. Those f'in bitches. Yes, I have a network connection. Yes, I read the error message correctly. Each time I was moved "up the food chain", I had to re-explain EVERYTHING. You will be hearing more details about this in a later post.
• What a bunch of asshats.
• Starting tomorrow, they're going to tear down the Wisconsin Avenue bridge that goes over I-43. Wisconsin Ave will be closed until NOVEMBER of 2006. This whole interchange reconstruction is going to be the biggest cluster-f*ck this city has ever seen. They've already made it impossible to get into, or out of downtown - and now they're going to cut off the one 'non-highway' artery. I can't imagine how people that actually live or work downtown are going to put up with this. This is going to get so bad, eventually the downtown folk will rise up and slay those in charge of this debacle. And I would sit back and laugh about it, except that I have to go downtown once a week for work. And it's going to f'in suck.
• Should the Packers lose, and the Texans win, there's a good statistical probability that the Packers will have the number one overall selection in the draft. I'm not very happy about that scenario. Not because having the number one pick means you suck ( and the Pack does suck very badly this year ) - but because it pretty much puts them in a no-win situation. Draft Bush with the number one? He's good, but he alone will not turn the franchise around. Bush and Rodgers locked up together for the next half decade? Good thought, but will they survive the beat-downs? I think that might actually be detrimental to their respective developments. We have so many needs, but how can you pass up the 'best' player to come out of college in a generation? I think being a NFL General Manager has to be one of the top five coolest jobs on the planet - but I am sure glad I'm not the Packers GM this winter.
• Speaking of the Packers, they put out a release that they might need bodies to shovel out snow from the bleachers. Despite the game being the NEXT DAY, Nort is thinking of driving up there to help. God Bless him, and the head of his, that he was dropped on several times as a small child.
• Caught a bit of the flu bug that's going around (hey, at least it's not the mumps), and was up late last night watching TV. I had gone to bed pretty early, and awoke with the TV still on. About an hour and a half later, I realized I had watched three entire episodes of "Hogan Knows Best". I'm not much of a fan of reality shows, but this one was quite entertaining. Hulk practically has his hot 16 year old daughter wearing a chastity belt, and the son roams around without as many rules. It's a very good portrayal of how Hogan wants to be a good dad, and comes off as a surprisingly likeable show - even if it is a centered around a guy who used to run around in his underwear and rip his shirt off.
• Came across this news item. "The actor who portrays "Leon" in Budweiser ads signed a minor-league pitching contract. " - Please baseball Gods, let that be true.
• A British student came up with an idea to have a one million pixel web page, and sell each pixel for a dollar, and people can put up whatever they like on their 'pixels'. He got a couple of friends to buy space, and hit the lottery when a news outlet heard about it. So far he's sold over 970,000 pixels. Some have called the idea genius. I'm not going to go that far. It's a simple idea, and a good one in its simplicity. The kind of "why didn't I think of that" idea. But that's it. He got LUCKY when someone in the media needed a space filler. Then, every attention whore jumped at the chance for extra bang for their buck on the site with all the extra attention the site was getting. Right place, right time. I'm not knocking the idea, I just don't see what the big deal is. Check it out here.
• (Mom- skip this bullet point...) I've actually been typing this post most of the evening due to outside circumstances. And along those lines, I'd like to say that VisaNet can lick my sack.

And there you have it. I take a couple of days off, and return with rambling rants, and a long post about nothing really. Although I do feel better for bitching about it, or it might be the NyQuill I took too.

I hope you all have a safe and Happy New Year!

"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley"

I finally got ahold of SkyDork, and he's laid to rest the question of the Boston landing. It seems that they simply would not have had enough gas to get all the way to Milwaukee.

They put enough fuel to get where they're going ( with a little extra, just incase ), and that fuel allotment is based off of normal flight conditions. They also calculate for weather, which includes tempature, and wind speeds. They also calculate passenger weight, and the center of gravity on the plane. Sounds like good times trying to figure that all out.

Anyway, SkyDork said that the usual flight travels at 400-500 knots ( he wouldn't give me a MPH equivalent ), and in this flight's case, the landing gear would have caused substantial drag, and only allowed the plane to fly around 200 knots.

He also said that the situation was the worst possible scenario for a landing gear mishap, and that the pilots should be commended on a job well done. The optimal situation for what they went through would be for the gear to recycle itself, and go back in, but not come back out. In this case however, there was a strong chance the gear would have snapped off, and not allowed the pilots to steer the plane once it's on the ground. If they make a belly landing, or 2 wheel landing, the pilots have MUCH more steering control.

So there you have it. I know most of you hadn't slept the past few days, wondering why the broken plane just didn't fly home, but now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.

A Little Free Time Is A Dangerous Thing

At least now that I'm away from the uptight assholes that are the Milwaukee Traveling Circus, I can go back to having mindless fun with a website. I really should get another hobby, because the possibilities are endless here.

I've updated the Hitmen website with a few holiday 'touches'. They're silly, corny, prolly stupid.... but I love 'em. I didn't go too overboard, and I'm kinda proud of myself for stopping when I did.

When I did the site for the Traveling Circus, some of these small changes were not well received. I can't imagine that will be the case with these guys. For example, before the Circus had the banner that they currently have, they had one that looked like this:

For the holidays, I made one that looked like this:

They didn't like it. But they didn't have anyone else to do the site, so too bad, so sad for them. Of course, this is the same group that thought my April Fools joke on the site was in bad taste too. I might just have to bust that one out again this year - when it will actually be appreciated.

Maybe I'm just a really big dork (don't be calling the kettle black here Will and Nort), but I have to laugh at the time I'll spend on something like this. I have no formal education in this, so I'm not the most efficient person, but I'm getting better. Perhaps my time could be better spent doing something more productive.

Yeah, I need another hobby.

And in the spirit of this post, Happy Holidays to everyone!!

Honeymoon Is Over

The office that I work in has five males, the three owners, the VP, and me. The office has around twelve full time, and four part time females. This ratio can be nice, because when outsiders notice that the other four guys have alot of power, I get lumped in with them - at least until they bother to look further.

I was recently given a 'promotion' (more responsibility, more money), so I do have more authority in the office than I did before, so I'm not the low man on the totem pole. I was talking with an owner today about how it's changed a little bit now, because before, I was the "office bitch". My job was basically anything that was put on my desk (marketing, accounting, IT - anything that I could help with). Now, I've been moved to mostly IT work, and it was even hinted today that I've been tabbed to be the successor to our current admin... but that's for another post. With this new promotion, I was joking around that now I'm the "company bitch", because now I have to field calls from all five clubs whenever something goes wrong.

But don't get me wrong - I'm loving it. I'm learning ALOT, and so far it has been fun. But out in the clubs, we've had a few people leave, so I've also been forced to help out in the clubs, mostly with sales. This has made for an interesting transition - two years at the club, and I had never put in one hour of overtime.

I had ten hours of overtime on the last pay period, and this week alone (thru Thursday), I'm up to eight hours of OT already. This isn't a 'bitch-session' post... so save the sarcastic comments for a later post ;)

The owner and I were talking about what's ahead, and I feel pretty good that it won't be like this for too long. I mentioned to him that while the days do seem to drag on sometimes, and I really do love the new job, but it's been a bit of an abrupt transition. He sympathized, and again, tried to reassure me that it won't stay like this.

Then, out of left field, he brings up the male/female ratio, and how I'm not the low man on the totem pole anymore. And in an effort to cheer me up (which I really didn't need, I was just a little tired, and our conversation was mostly office small talk anyway) he pulled out this gem:

"Well Matt, whenever I start to feel overwhelmed here at work, I remind myself that I'm in the minority being a guy, but I can tell all the women here what to do. You're in that position now. We're outnumbered, but we're in charge. It's kind of like our own little apartheid here."

I love my job. A sixty year old man just told me to be happy at work because it's like 'apartheid' in an office. Although, after a long day, that did crack me up.

Oh well, maybe I guess you had to be there.

Why Not Go Anyway?

You might have had the chance to watch it live, but a plane had to make an emergency landing in Boston today. The plane had an equipment problem with the landing gear, and safely landed at Boston's Logan airport. Article here.

But I'm left wondering one thing. The plane took off from Boston, and was going to land in Milwaukee. It was a Midwest Express flight, and they are based here in Mil-town. The plane had the problem right after takeoff, so the pilot had to fly around Boston in a big circle for almost two hours before he could land. They did this as to lighten the airplane to soften the landing by burning off fuel. That part makes sense to me. Plus, all that pesky jet fuel is just a little bit combustible.

But if they were going to fly around for an extended period of time..... why didn't they just fly to Milwaukee where they were going in the first place? Why the need to circle around Boston, just so they could end up where they started? You'd be burning jet fuel on the way here, and the plane is going to have to land sometime, so why not get to where you have to go anyway?

It probably does have a very simple explanation, and maybe Jim will have one for me. If not, I'll be forced to call Sky Dork, and I really don't want to have to do that before the Bears game this week.

Like Hart's... But BETTER

Nort found this article.

If you don't want to RTFA, all you really need to know is that a bar in the Green Bay area was busted for having 96 underage patrons.

96.

The city of DePere levied almost $17,500 in fines that night. Not a bad pull.

There's a quote in the article by Dennis Gladwell, the DePere Police Crime Prevention Coordinator (what kind of title is that???) that says the following:

"If you have one or two (underage drinkers), it means you made a mistake. If you have 96, it means you don't care."

And he's half right. I used to bounce at a bar on Water St. (one of four major 'destinations' in Milwaukee to get your drink on). We were pretty diligent about checking IDs. While it's not a stretch to guess that a few people did get in under my watch with a fake ID, I can also tell you that several people were allowed in with fake IDs. If the ID was really, really good, you'd get in. If it was terrible, you didn't. I wouldn't take IDs from anyone, just not let in people with bad IDs.

Unless you were hot.... and it helped if you were wearing a skirt. Yes, I know that's piggish of me, but hey, it was kinda my job. We knew that the cops would come around everyonce and a while, and they abided by the same philosophy as Mr. Gladwell - they'd look past a few underagers, especially if the ID was pretty good. But I can't imagine they actually thought it was a mistake. Don't you think they'd notice after a few years that the only underagers they bust in a bar are hot, sexy, girls that flirt really, really well?

My favorite ID story happened after about a year of me working there. It was FREEZING that night, and due to the nature of the area, you never could park within 2 blocks, so you'd have to walk to one of your favorite watering holes. I worked only on Wed. and Friday nights, and both nights wouldn't start to get busy until after 10 or 10:30. We'd usually have one person on staff at the door until 9, because there wasn't much to do. On this freezing night, around 8:30, this young hot girl came to the door with NO jacket, a top that showed half her stomach, and had on a very short skirt and some awesome heels. Quite the normal attire for the summertime at this bar, but not this night.

She pulled out a terrible ID. Height was off by almost six inches, eye color was wrong, you name it. I musta looked at it for almost three whole minutes, and she didn't say a peep. She even made a point to not make eye contact. I even turned on the bright spot light over my seat to get a better look at the ID. You could see every little squirm of her body language, and I loved every minute of it.

And if you haven't guessed by now, I let her in. She went to the bar, and I could overhear the bartender making conversation, as she was one of three people in the bar at that point. Her friends were coming later... yadda yadda yadda. After about 20 min, I couldn't take it any longer and went up to her and asked to see the ID again. She got all nervous, but reluctantly gave it to me. I explained that I had already let her in, and she had a beer in hand, so if we were gonna get busted, throwing her out now wouldn't do any good. She smiled, and I asked how old she really was. She tried to insist on the age on the license (24), so I think in all, I asked her three or four more times. Finally she relented, and admitted what I had thought, that she was only 18. I reminded her that I said she could stay, but warned her that the other bouncers might not take such a crappy ID in the future.

Was it cuz she was hot? Sure. But I also felt sorry for her in the cold with that outfit, and at the same time, impressed. She really did meet friends out that night, and she had the guts to try to get in, especially the way she did.

I wasn't the only bouncer like that at my bar, and I'm damn sure there's bouncers like that ALL over the country. Bar owners like hot young women in the bar, so if everyonce and while I let in one that happens to be underage, so be it. Now if you're a guy on the otherhand, and you have a bad fake - FORGET about it. So here's what I want to know.... what was it like at the bar in DePere? Were they letting everyone in, or just the hot chicks with fake IDs? Maybe I don't want to know the answer, because in my head, they just let in the hot chicks with bad fakes, and told all the dudes to go stick it. How nice would it be to walk in that bar as an of-ager? One can dream....

It would be like the Anti-Hart's. seventh bullet point down

We Suck

With details too numerous to get into, I'll leave it at saying that the Packers suck.

But we looked good doing it. Man... that HiDef ROCKS.

But what a sh*tty tradeoff. We were so good for so long, and I watched it on regular tv's.... and now that I get to watch football as the football Gods intended - I have to watch this suckitude.

But at least I can be distracted by seeing how many blades of grass are stuck in Favre's helmet after he gets knocked down for the umpteenth time.

All I want for X-mas is a win against the Bears. If Santa can fit his huge ass in a chimney, then I'm not asking too much for a win on Sunday.

Holiday Punch

We went to go see a production of "Holiday Punch" by the Off the Wall Theater Company tonight, and I highly recommend it for everyone to go see. This was my second time to Off the Wall, as we went to go see "Holiday Punch" last year.

My cousin was in the production, and we also had a small birthday party for him afterwards. So if you go, while I can't promise beer and food like we had, I will say that you'll prolly get some sauerkraut.

"Holiday Punch" has been around for over 25 years, and for good reason. You can read a review here, but all you really need to know is that it's DAMN funny. Any show that starts off with the writer telling you that his aim is "offend everyone at some point throughout the night" is off to a good start in my book.

I've always thought that my cousin was a really good actor, and never slapped him upside the head to find out why he doesn't do more of it... but that's for another day. I'm glad he's in the show, and even more glad that this year he doesn't have to wear a turban and an adult diaper at the same time on stage.

Just When You Think You Know Yourself

I'm a guy, and I like sports, so it's not going to be very shocking to anyone that reads this to find out that I play video games as well. Lately, I've been playing NCAA2006 by EASports, which is EA's College Football game, on the PlayStation2. I'm a huge fan of college football, and love the video game. In many ways, I think it's a better 'football engine' (the programming that controls the football gameplay for you non-nerds) than EA's NFL counterpart, Madden2006.

But since I know how a "review" of a video game is for the blogging ratings, that's not what I'm here to show you. I noticed something in the programming of the games that I thought I'd share.

In NCAA06, you can create 'yourself', and take that player through his college career and play out the seasons, with the ultimate goal to win the Heisman Trophy at the end of each season. This is a new feature for the game. Previous years never had this type of gameplay available. They added this gameplay, because in the NFL Madden game, there is a "Superstar" mode, which is similar to the "Race for the Heisman" game, in that you just play out the season as a player, and don't have the coaching and GM controls of your team.

It's a wonderful concept in each game, and it was made better by the fact that you can "export" your college player by saving him on the memory card, and then having that exact player be 'drafted' into the Madden game, and continue playing with that virtual person.

Just like real life.

Well, almost like real life. I created myself as a quaterback, and in the college game, enrolled at the University of Wisconsin. Here's a picture of my virtual self at the end of my senior year:
Apparently, the bitches at UW wouldn't make available number 9 for me, so I had to settle on number 4.

After that game pictured above, I finished my college career, and saved the character to the memory card. I fired up NFLMadden2006, and loaded my player into the "Superstar" mode. I was drafted with the eleventh pick in the second round by the New York Giants. Your "Superstar" career begins with you participating in Training Camp, practicing various plays. So imagine my surprise when I hit the field and got to look at myself for the first time as an NFL player:
Although, while the Giants were kind enough to let me wear number nine, the programmers of the game forgot to make sure ALL the details of your virtual self carried over from the college game. I left college as a 6'3", 218lb WHITE quarterback, and entered the NFL as a 6'2", 218lb BLACK quarterback.

While I'm enjoying my newfound race status, I find it hard to believe that a glitch like this made it all the way through to the launch of the game. Didn't anyone actually TEST the game to look for stuff like this? I know jack sh*t about game programming, but wouldn't the race value be the same from game to game? Unless someone did it just for fun, knowing that no one else would pick it up on the code side - and if that's the case, give that man a raise.

Look Out For That Barn!!

Two quick prefaces to this exchange:
1: Nort lives in the boonies.
2: Nort only eats chicken, pizza, or wings. THAT'S IT.

nort: yea, I have to go pickup dinner in a min
kuflax: dude
kuflax: pizza places deliver
kuflax: OH WAIT
kuflax: that's here in the civilized world
nort: F
nort: U

But we love him anyway.

Even A Blind Monkey...

I was quite surprised today to see the results of the MKEOnline poll, as I have won the Blog of the Year award. Thanks to all that voted!

It's cliche to say it was an honor to be nominated, and to make it that far - but that is what I took out of this. I have said before that I enjoy writing this much more than I ever imagined I would, and from a personal standpoint, I'm enjoying it. The fact that a few other people actually take the time to read the stuff I write (the good, the bad, and the downright crap that I come up with) makes it quite fun to use this medium.

But there are people out there that take Blogging far more serious than I do, and as I said, I'm quite surprised to have won. I have enjoyed reading the blogs I've been up against, especially the other two finalists. Both Folkbum, and RedhairedGirl would have made excellent choices as winners.

Thanks again - now I'll just have to come up with a way to share the winnings. I'm thinking a party might be in order too... how's Vegas in March sound?

Global Warming?????

It's been very well documented on here that I have a great dislike for winter and snow. So you can imagine how happy I was to see the forecast for Tuesday night and Wednesday here in Milwaukee.

One weatherman went as far as to say, "We're probably looking at only four to six inches of snow." Only 4-6. Ha ha. We just got done with a few days of consecutive snowfalls, so I guess I shouldn't complain when I was allowed a whole two days of NOT having to shovel.

It's a good thing the MKEOnline Blog of the Year poll ends on Wednesday night, so that I have something to look forward to after digging myself out for like the 15th time already this winter.

That wasn't too obvious and shameless of a plug was it??

Yes, someday I will move somewhere warm. But until then, I get to vent about it here. And I do understand that some people like the cold weather (Nort, and my father), but what I can't ever figure out, is why people lived up here in the old days. Like the Civil War time. When there wasn't such a thing as insulation, or down jackets, or cars with heaters in them. How did they do it? Not even from a survival standpoint, but how after one winter, did they all just not pack up and move south?

Even SkyDork, who was a Chicago resident his whole life, said to me when he moved to Florida, "Matt, you're a sucker if you stay there. It's 73 degrees, and me and the wife just finished drinks on the beach. Have fun shoveling!!". I still think he's an idiot for being a Bears fan, but I think he might be on to something with the weather thing. At the very least, I'm going to be one of those old people that moves south for the winter. Unless I can win a lottery before then. But until then, I'd be happy to win the Blog of the Year contest, which ends Wednesday night.....

Oops... sorry, that one slipped out.... no.... really.... that plug wasn't supposed to be outloud. Sorry bout that.

So Simple... Yet So Smart

You might have seen this already (like when I posted about the End of the World animation like two years after it came out), but there is a company called Save My Ass.

You can sign up for a service, and they will, at random times, send your significant other flowers. (they will notify you just before they send them, so you avoid any screwups). You can also let the business know of any important 'dates', and they will send flowers those days too. They even have a "panic button" to send flowers in an emergency. You move the slider back and forth to let them know the severity of the situation, and they adjust the bouquet accordingly. The "How Bad Is It?" scale ranges as follows - "Not too bad", "I may have upset her", "Please Help", "She's throwing things", and "I'm afraid for my life".

What a great business idea. This is one of those things that falls under the category of, "Why didn't I think of that?". You know guys will use this. The website even goes so far as to say that women actually are happy that their men used a service like this, because they love getting flowers. While I'm sure women do, doesn't it kinda kill the thought when he didn't do anything other than whore out the credit card?

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know sh*t about flowers, but I'd always hoped that it meant something that I atleast went and picked them out. But if that really doesn't matter... then I just might have to whore out the credit card too.

Why Is This One Any More Important?

In a reprieve from the sports diatribe, and my exciting job duties ( I know you guys love that stuff ), I'm going to bring up a topic sure bring out the beast in everyone.

It's just after midnight here, and in a few hours, Stanley "Tookie" Williams will be executed in California. If you've been living under a rock, Williams is a co-founder of the Crips gang, and was convicted of killing four people. He has exhausted his appeals, and there has been intense pressure on Gov. Schwarzenegger of Kaleforneaa to give Williams clemency. Today, Schwarzenegger denied the request. More details here.

I'm not here to debate the death penalty. Not everyone is EVER going to agree on this one. I don't think the 'deterrent' argument holds up very well, but I do believe that societies have the right to defend/protect/punish in a manner of their choosing. But that's not what I'd like to talk about.

Williams stands to be the 12th person to be executed in California since they reinstated the death penalty in 1977. When the state ( any state ), follows through on the jury's wishes, it often makes national news. I say often, not always, because since January 1st, 2005, fifty eight people have been put to death in the United States. Eight of them were so-called "volunteer" executions, where the defendant has given up his right to any further appeals on his own accord.

So do you know who Brian Steckel is? I didn't. Mr. Steckel was put to death on November 4th of this year, in Delaware. Mr. Steckel was convicted of killing a woman after raping her in her home, and then setting fire to the home. He used the appeal process to the end, and was denied clemency by the Gov. of Delaware. Mr. Steckel said at his execution the following:

"I want to say I'm sorry for the cruel things I did. I'm not the same man I was when I came to jail. I changed. I'm a better man. I walked in here without a fight, and I accept my punishment. It is time to go. I love you people. I'm at peace."

Not unlike Mr. Steckel, Mr. Williams has exhausted his appeal process, and has been denied clemency by the Governor. By all public accounts, Mr. Williams seems resigned to his fate, as evidenced by his last known interview:

"Me fearing what I'm facing, what possible good is it going to do for me? How is that going to benefit me?" Williams said in a recent interview. "If it's my time to be executed, what's all the ranting and raving going to do?"

Mr. Williams has said that he is a changed man since going into prison, and has said that he regrets being a founding member of the Crips. Conflicting reports from the Corrections department saying that Williams was still an 'active' member were one of the reasons he was not granted clemency. Williams has never shown public remorse for the crimes he was convicted of.

So now we have two guys with similar situations. Can someone explain to me why one of them is on the news 24/7, and I've never heard of the other guy? Why is one more important than the other? Both said they were changed men. Both found God. Please, please explain to me why Jamie Foxx, Mike Farrell (from M.A.S.H. fame), Bianca Jagger, Ted Danson, William Baldwin, Russell Crowe, and Bob Saget didn't say a PEEP to save Mr. Steckel??? Their main argument is that Williams is a changed man, and because of that, shouldn't die. So why weren't they out in full force in November on Mr. Steckel's behalf?

I really hope that there's a better answer than they're just hungry for attention, or crave the spotlight, and are using this as a chance to make themselves feel better about themselves. If you want to make a difference, be consistent. Don't just stand up when it's convenient and it's has a chance to make you look good.

As I mentioned, 58 people have been put to death this year, with 8 'voluntary'. That's 50 people that took appeals to the max, and an it's not a stretch to guess that they didn't want to die. How come Stanley Williams is the only name I had heard of of those 50 people? If Foxx, Farrell, Danson etc. really want to make a difference, they should be yelling at the top of their lungs about once a week. But they won't. Even though Mr. Steckel was resigned to his fate on the day he died, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have minded if a few dozen famous people had put in a call to the Governor the day before on his behalf. To me, what they have to say about Mr. Williams carries no weight until they make even half as much of a plea for the next guy on death row. Which, if you're outside of California, you're pretty much screwed, because they didn't lift a finger for the previous 50 this year.

I'm not sure what I find more disgusting - the fact that some famous people use times like this to impress their views upon everyone else - or that there are alot of people out there that agree with them just because they're famous.

Good Bye Mr. Bush

No, not that Bush.

Reggie Bush.

I've just returned from Green Bay, where I watched any chance the Packers had at getting Bush go right out the window courtesy of an overtime FG to beat the Lions.

Now don't get me wrong, I never want to see my beloved Packers lose. I'm just saying it was nice to think about what Reggie Bush would have looked like in a Packer uni.

So unless the NFL changes it rules, and lets Houston play without the blindfolds on, the Packers will still be looking at a top-five pick. Just not the first one.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to thaw out under a comforter, a blanket, some pj's and a space heater if I can find one.

RIP MuthaFarker

I, being a middle class white male, don't have anything insightful to say about the passing of Richard Pryor, other than the world is now a little less of a funny place. Further proof that the good die young. Richard is now gone, but Carrot Top remains with us.

I'm also not old enough to have experienced some of the cultural significance of his stand up act, as it was happening. He opened the doors for every comic that chooses to talk about cultural issues now - but they don't even hold a candle to Mr. Pryor when it comes to pushing the boundaries of what 'could' be funny. It must have been one hell of a ride for him, and for those that got to see his work firsthand.

In looking for the text of the exchange from the skit on SNL (pictured above), I came across a quote of Mr. Pryor's. In 1998, Richard Pryor was awarded the first Kennedy Center Mark Twain Humor Prize. His acceptance response was released as follows:
"Two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humor. I am proud, that like Mark Twain, I've been able to use humor to lessen peoples hatred. I feel great about accepting this prize. It's nice to be regarded on par with a great white man. Now, that's funny."

As for the SNL skit, I found a clip of the exchange. Mr. Pryor is probably the only person that could have pulled this one off as well as he did. Eddie Murphy a close second, and Chris Rock a distant third. Everyone in the world would agree that this is f*cking hilarious, but yet, nothing close will make it on TV now.

RIP Richard.

Thank You!

I didn't even vote-whore this time, and I've won the semi-finals round for Blog of the Year, a contest run by the fine folks at mkeonline.com. I now go straight to the finals round, against two other blogs. So I'll stump for votes just in a manner by mentioning it here. You can vote for me here.

Please, please, please, please go vote for me!!

Okay, maybe there will be a little vote-whoring going on.

Come On Now

Everyday that goes by, I become a little more amazed at the complete lack of thought that goes into our existence on this planet. The example today is quite staggering.

There was an article on the main news page on Yahoo that mentions that there is possibly a new species of carnivore that has been found in Borneo. I find science things to be very interesting, so I clicked on the link.

Here's the link, and perhaps you'll catch the irony before you have to read the rest of my post.

But for those of you that don't like to RTFA, the article mentions that there are a series of camera traps set up all around the island of Borneo, just for this purpose of seeing new species. Since 1994, over 360 new species have been found on the island, mostly plants and insects.

Well, nothing out of the norm so far. Until you notice the 'picture' that comes with the article.


Are you f*cking kidding me? The species was discovered using CAMERAS, and we get an "artist rendition"???? The cameras have captured the animal TWICE. So where's the f*cking pictures??????

The article also mentions that the animal has a "long, bushy tail". I understand that some adjectives can be interpreted differently by different people, but I don't think that looks like a "bushy" tail in the artist rendition. A squirrel has a bushy tail. This just looks like a tail.

How does this get greenlit? AP Writer:"Hey, I've got a great story! They found a new species of animal!"
Editor: "Great! Make sure you show a picture for people to see."
AP Writer: "Ummmmmmm.... is a drawing okay?"

Simply amazing. It's almost beautiful in a way, how stupid this really is.

We Suck

Karma is a bitch. We were so good for so long - and now the suckitude begins to show it's ugly head.

The Packers lost to the hated Bears today, and yes, I've already received a call from Sky Dork. I don't really know what he wanted, because he wouldn't stop laughing.

I really feel bad for Willy though, because he's going to have to sit 4 feet away from Nort on Monday. ALL DAY. Nort's usually a pretty quiet guy, but I can't imagine it will take long before Willy can't handle the constant sniffles, and mumbling that will be coming from Nort's side of the cubicle. Willy already had Nort on suicide watch after Packer games, and we may have to beef up the resources. Is it in bad taste to send a stripper-gram to someone's' work to try to cheer them up?

Would I have to pay double because he shares a cubicle? Can they dance with the office Muzak playing in the background, or would they have to bring a small boombox? Would it be better in the morning to start his day with, or in the afternoon, when the day seems kinda bleak? Would she have to sign in upon entering the building, or do you suppose security would just let her right in? If I send him a stripper-gram this week, what ever would I get him for Christmas then?

Maybe it's not so bad. I started out dwelling on the Packer loss, and ended with thoughts of stripper-grams. I knew I wasn't going to be on my best behavior this week.

What Day Is It?

Longest.

Banquet.

Ever.

The league has made some great strides in the past decade. From a form of sandlot football, to games on TV is quite an accomplishment. I'm very happy in this league, don't get me wrong. But seriously, how long was that 'highlight video'?

But in the end, we walked away with some hardware. Aside from Jason, Brandon and Butter being All-Stars, Bush won Ironman of the Year (despite being thrown out of a game this year), Coach B won Coach of the Year, and Huck won Co-MVP. Not a bad day's take.

Kinda actually makes me want to go workout tomorrow. Stop laughing. I'm serious. I haven't been this excited about getting ready for next season.... well, ever.

Maybe next year, we'll have an MC for the banquet to kinda speed things along.

I Almost Forgot How Sweet It Was

Ahhhhhhh. The TV is back to normal. While it was a slight shadow, now that it's fixed, I'm noticing just how much it affected the clarity.

So what am I going to do with my newly fixed prized posession? Not a damn thing. The college basketball in HiDef is calling my name, but so is the beer at the IFL banquet.

Hopefully I'll have a couple of good stories to tell, but until then, think of my unused TV, as it sits all repaired... alone... with no one to watch it tonight.

Here We Go Again

The good folks at mkeonline.com have put the pressure on again, as the semi-finals are currently going for the Blog of the Week poll. This time I'm up against nine other fine bloggers, and I'll need all the support I can get. So help me reaffirm my self worth in this virtual world and go vote for me!! VOTE HERE.

As promised last time, all winnings from this contest will be shared with you, the readers. I couldn't do this without you. *sniffle* At least you know I'll be somewhat on my best behavior this week. No I won't, who am I kidding?

Humble Reminders

Yesterday kicked off the start of my new 'promotion'. I still don't have a title, but I'm working on one for you. I work directly for Dave, but report to Kady, and Ray is technically my boss. Make sense? Good.

Dave is the large-and-in-charge man of the Club's IT stuff. Yes, "stuff" is a industry technical term. Dave for his 'real job', works for Fiserv, and is actually incharge of the computers that run the Chicago Stock Exchange. So he's a pretty smart guy, and it's gonna be pretty cool to learn from him. But he cannot be here all the time.... so that leaves the Clubs with........

Me.

Bwahahaha!

Mostly I will be doing the hardware maintenance ( each club once a month ), I'll have to do email admin, file access rights, logins, and internet policing. (yes, posting on Blogger would normally be something that I would look as an internet policeman, but I'm on my lunch hour, so we'll let that one slide... it's not like I work at the Tool, and can post whenever I want) There's more to the job, and it will be a very fluid position. In the meantime, I'm also working on the stuff that has to get done for the job I really wanted, so it will make for an interesting month.

So for now, I think I'm just going to call myself a Network Administrator, because most people have atleast heard of that, and then I won't have to explain what I really do.

To kick off the day yesterday I had an illustrious task. Most likely only Nort and Willy are going to find this amusing, as this task sure had a way of bringing me down from the high that was me learning my new job parameters. Item #1 on the list yesterday........ keyboard swap.

Yep, me with my newfound responsibilities and powers had to go out in the cold to the Greenfield club, and replace a keyboard at the front desk that someone spilled soda on. Step one, drive to GF. Step two, unplug old keyboard. Step three, plug in new keyboard. Step four, drive back to office.

Even I couldn't screw that one up. So at least I'm one-for-one on my IT assignments in my new job!! Yea me! And today is month end reports from my old job (which will take all of today and tomorrow), so I'm going to keep the perfect score all the way through the end of the week! Woo hoo!

Speaking of tomorrow, it's only a half day tomorrow, and it marks the 2 year anniversary of me at the AC. After 2 years of service, you get two weeks of vacation time. So I have to burn a half day tomorrow of my newfound vacation time, because the guy coming to fix my TV will be here sometime between 12-4. Don't even get me started again on that. But he'll make my TV better, and we've got the IFL banquet tomorrow night, so should be good times.

Enjoy your Thursday peeps.

You're Fired. Don't Worry, We'll Keep Paying You

Seems that only here in Milwaukee, police officers keep getting paid after they get fired. (Article here).

Milwaukee still pays them their salary and benefits as long as they appeal the firing. Since 1990, 81 officers have been fired, and 79 of them have appealed the firing. First off, on a possibly good note, only having to fire 81 people in 15 years would seem to be a pretty good ratio for what would amount to a large corporation. But I digress, because it's Milwaukee, and I can only imagine what those 81 people had to do to get fired in this town. Yikes.

Milwaukee is the only force in the state that pays officers upon termination. Every police force has an appeal policy just like Milwaukee's, but other forces do NOT pay officers while they appeal.

State law dictates that a hearing needs to be held in the case within 15 days. Dismissed officers can ask for one 'free' extra 15 day period to prepare for the case. The commission has decided by itself, that they must grant at least 100 days before the case starts, to give both sides time to prepare. Appeals on average since 1990 have taken 9 months.

I understand that in other jobs ( especially gov't jobs ), if you're accused of doing something wrong, you will often be 'reassigned', while they complete the investigation. But even in most gov't jobs, you don't keep getting paid after you've actually been fired. And most gov't jobs don't have such a broad rule allowing you to appeal your termination. So why the special treatment here?

Silly me, but I think alot of gov't services should run themselves like a business. They are there providing a service, and should do so in a cost effective manner. The city has paid out over $2.5 million dollars to officers who have appealed since 1990. This year alone, the city has paid over $500,000 to officers under appeal right now. Most of the officers ( 5 of them ) were terminated for their roles in the beating of Frank Jude Jr. The city has said that they could have hired another 60 officers with that money this year. This is especially pressing, seeing as how there is 200 vacancies within the department this year due to budget constraints.

It must be nice to have perks afforded to you that the general population doesn't get. If I were to get fired from the AC - there's NO appeal. None. And they sure as hell won't pay me anymore money if I were to get canned.

Must be nice to have this rule apply to you. And if they ever take it away from the MPD, they'll bitch about how they're getting screwed. Welcome to the real world boys and girls. If the gov't is nice, they'll even take your pants off while they screw you. Except, oh wait. You're not getting screwed. You got FIRED. Don't f*ck up in your next job, and you'll keep getting a paycheck.